Bidding Farewell to 2009

Hamish's 5 Things
5 FUNNY NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS - JUST IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T MADE YOUR MIND UP ON ANY YOURSELF
5. I will no longer waste my time relieving the past, instead I will spend it worrying about the future.
4. I will stop sending e-mails to my SPOUSE!!!!
3. I will not ring the stewardess button on airplanes just to get her phone number.
2. I will not bore my boss by with the same excuse for taking leaves. I will think of some more excuses.
1. I will think of a password other than "password."

Today’s Show is made possible by a whole bunch of NUMBERS!

25 - New Year's Day has been observed on January 1st in most English-speaking nations since 1751. But before 1751, New Year's Day was celebrated on March 25th, the day believed at the time to be approximately the first day of spring.

24 - Anthony Thornton set a world record in Minneapolis, USA by walking 95.4 miles in 24 hours—backwards in 1989.
Incidentally, if you walk 45 minutes four days a week this year, you can lose 18 pounds without dieting, according to research by the University of Massachusetts Medical School.

The Eve of the Eve of 2010

Hamish's 5 Things
THE TOP 5 HANGOVER CURES
5. Tomatoes
Hangover sufferers regularly eat tomatoes (soup, pasta sauce, raw, etc.) to ease their symptoms. They're rich in vitamin C, which gets depleted after a night of drinking. This may explain why the classic morning-after drink, Bloody Mary, is so popular.
4. Good Old Grease
After a hard night's drinking, your digestive system is under a lot of strain, so bacon, sausages and the works may cause indigestion. However, fat contains lots of calories, so you will get a much-needed energy boost, and eggs and meat are rich in the amino acid, cysteine, which is thought to be good at clearing out toxins.
3. Back to Bed
You drank way too much, so you deserve a good rest. This is especially good if you can find someone to wait on your every need. MAYBE CALLED MARY BUT HOLD THE BLOOD!
2. Lots of Water
Your body might have been 90% water before you went out but it feels like 9% now. Get your dried out husk of a body over to the sink and drink, drink, drink. Drink until you can't drink anymore, then wait and drink some more.
1. Roll in the Hay
When you've tried all else (better still, before) get together with, or on top of, the one you love. The exercise will get your blood flowing. And the rest, well you know what that does. When you're done, you can down a big drink of water and slip back into a peaceful slumber.

Today's Show is Made Possible by the NUMBER THIRTY

30 - Richard Page of Mr. Mister fame once bet a friend that he could write a song in under 30 minutes. The resulting song, "I'll Remember", went on to be nominated for a Grammy.

30 - The record for the most touches of a football in 30 seconds, while keeping the ball in the air, is 164 by Mathias Jensen (Norway) in Bud, Norway on 5 October 2007.

30 - Only 30% of humans can flare their nostrils.

30 - A camel can lose up to 30 percent of its body's water in perspiration and continue to cross the desert. A human would die of dehydration after losing only 12 percent of body's water.

Confucious Make Tuesday Bettah!

Today’s Show is made possible by the NUMBER TWENTY-NINE!

29 - There are 29 millionaire dogs in the world. While all of these canines have their funds managed in trust, they are indeed the legal benefactors.

29 - The average medieval man lived to the age of 29.

29 - Cigarettes are responsible for starting 29% of household fires.

29 - Feb 29 is known as a Leap Day, happening only once every four years. It was the Romans who first designated February 29 as leap day. Later, a more precise formula (still in use today) was adopted in the 16th century when the Gregorian calendar fine-tuned the calculations to include a leap day in years only divisible by four, i.e., 2008, 2012.
While leap day helped official timekeepers, it also resulted in social customs turned upside down when February 29 became a "no man's land" without legal jurisdiction.
As the story goes, the tradition of women romantically pursuing men in leap years began in 5th century Ireland, when St. Bridget complained to St. Patrick about the fair sex having to wait for men to propose.
Patrick finally relented and set February 29 aside as the day set aside allowing women the right to ask for a man's hand in marriage.


Hamish's 5 Things
CONFUCIOUS SAY TUESDAYS - BY POPULAR REQUEST!
5. CONFUCIOUS SAY: Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.
4. CONFUCIOUS SAY: Never give a sword to a man who can't dance.
3. CONFUCIOUS SAY: Man with no legs bums around.
2. CONFUCIOUS SAY: Man who have hand in pocket not just jingling change.
1. CONFUCIOUS SAY: If you turn oriental around, he become disoriented.

It's the Most Fattening Time of the Year!

The Gold Health Guide
You can lose weight without being hungry. You can learn to take control of the “Snack Monster" and your program can be one to set you up for success, not failure.

An important key is to learn how to recognize what your body requires, the signals it gives you, and learn how to respond to those signals appropriately – diet and guilt are two words that do not belong together.
Hunger is the body’s way of telling us we need to replenish depleted nutrients. Unfortunately our body can’t say “I need more vitamin D". That would make things so easy! Many of us interpret hunger pains as our body saying “I need more fat", “I need more sugar".
The keys to healthy snacking are:
1. Know what foods to avoid.
2. Planning – get yourself organized.

What is a healthy snack?
One that contains little or no sugar, little or no salt (sodium), no white flour and no saturated fat. Check the food labels to see what is inside. Many foods are now labeled ‘fat free’ but are laden with sugars and will still cause an influx of calories. Do not assume that ‘fat free’ means healthy! Western societies are eating more and more fat free foods, and yet obesity levels are rising faster than ever. Healthy snacks do not live in a vending machine.

Here are some healthy snack ideas:

Raw vegetables, such as celery, carrots, cauliflower, broccoli, green pepper, green beans, cucumbers, mushrooms or zucchini may be served with a lowfat dip.

Fresh fruit in season.

Lowfat quick breads and muffins, such as pumpkin, zucchini, banana or bran.

Non-sugared cereals, snack mixes made with popcorn and whole grain cereal.

Lowfat yogurt with fresh, frozen or canned fruit.

Shakes with lowfat milk or yogurt and fruit.

A few squirts of butter-flavored spray and a sprinkle of garlic or onion powder on popcorn

Organize yourself to stay on track.

Plan to have a small snack mid morning and mid afternoon. It is much better to curb your hunger than to starve yourself.

Plan your snacks as part of your overall daily food plan.

Organize your week – especially if you work outside the home. Write a list of snacks for the entire week and make sure you shop ahead. Buy enough to last the whole week.

Buy a variety of healthy snacks so you don’t get bored.

A report has shown that people who have a healthy intake of food in four of five episodes throughout the day are less prone to obesity than those who eat three or less times during the day.
Snacking CAN be good for you!

Today’s Show is made possible by the NUMBER TWENTY-EIGHT!

28 - 28% of the value of gift cards and gift certificates is never redeemed.

28 - The Russian named "world's best lock picker" by the International Locksmith Guild earned that title by picking a lock in 28 seconds.

28 - Humans perform over 28 million voluntary motions in a lifetime.

28 - Disney's "The Never Ending Story" sparked 28 lawsuits from customers who were furious that the movie actually had an end.

Hamish's 5 Things
ALMOST ANOTHER YEAR GONE BY - AND 5 THINGS TO CHEER US UP ABOUT GROWING OLDER...
5. The woman who tells her age is either too young to have anything to lose or too old to have anything to gain.
4. Children are a great comfort in your old age -- and they help you reach it faster, too.
3. When you really are old, flowers will scare you.
1. You know you're getting old when everything hurts. And what doesn't hurt doesn't work.

HO! HO! HO! Merry Christmas!

Grumpy Christmas?
The average family will have their first argument at 9.58am on Christmas Day, research has found. After getting up early to see what Santa has brought them, tired, excited children and stressed out parents will fall out just before 10am. Parents trying to tidy the house sees most rows erupt, along with high stress levels and arguments over what to watch on TV.The study of 4,100 people found the average parent then ends up telling off their children for the first time by 11.07am.Other average timings are, getting out of bed just before 8am, ready to open presents by 8.19am, eating chocolate at 8.39am followed by breakfast at 9am and 11.49am for the first alcoholic drink. We guess with such a grumpy start to the morning, you'll need that drink!

The Gold Health Guide - Beating Holiday Stress
Tip #5: Moderate!
Do not over-eat, drink, or spend. The negative consequences created from over-indugence will come to us the next few days, in our bodies and our mood. Although the period of holidays is associated primarily with a few more pleasures that we allow ourselves, the exaggerations come to add to the extra stress and guilt to the already intense days. The fulfilment of our daily health habits on nutrition, physical activity and sleep helps dealing with the increased stress.

Hamish's 5 Things
5 OTHER WAYS TO SAY MERRY CHRISTMAS
5. Vietnamese - Chung Mung Giang Sinh
4. Portuguese - Feliz Natal
3. Bulgarian - Tchestita Koleda; Tchestito Rojdestvo Hristovo
2. Hungarian - Kellemes Karacsonyi unnepeket
1. Japanese - Shinnen omedeto Kurisumasu Omedeto

'Twas the Morning Before Christmas...

Today's Show is Made Possible by the NUMBERS SIX & TWENTY

6 - A recent survey shows that the average person can name only 6 of Santa's 9 reindeer. Vixen was the most commonly forgotten, and the only respondent who did not name Rudolph named the other 8 correctly. Here’s a quick reminder of who Santa’s reindeer are:
1. Dasher
2. Dancer
3. Prancer
4. Vixen
5. Comet
6. Cupid
7. Donner
8. Blitzen
9. Rudolph

20 - One in five, or 20% of people say they always follow the "rules" when they encounter mistletoe.
According to "Holidaye Feasts and Traditions", written by Dennis Gilbin of London, England in 1583, "mistletoe must be hunge noe more than 18 inches above the heads of the peoples in order for a man to be entitled to a kisse from a maiden."

20 - The Wall Street Journal is going Grinch this holiday season and advising shoppers to stay away from the mall. In his "Return on Investments" column, Brett Arends a combination of retailers' astronomical mark-ups and shoppers' poor taste (who doesn't have trouble deciding what gifts to buy?) makes Christmas shopping & gift exchange a big fat waste of time!
Arends says 20% of money spent on gifts is wasted. That money would be much better-off invested somewhere, earning interest, than it would buying something as uneconomical as a Christmas present.
Gift cards are a bit better, because recipients can pick what they want. But even gift card purchases involve 10% waste, so cash is the only way to go.

CRAP WRAP!
A company has launched a 'messy' gift-wrapping service so that it looks like clueless men have wrapped Christmas presents themselves.
Rather than pristine parcels with perfectly folded paper and exquisitely tied ribbon, the gifts arrive with roughly chopped paper and sealed with industrial-style tape.
The firm behind the "CrapWrap" service say many women get upset if their gifts don't look like their man has paid the care and attention to wrap them himself.
They even promise their wrapping handywork is so shoddy your wife or girlfriend won't think for a minute someone else has done it for you.
"It takes a high degree of skill to deliberately wrap a present this poorly," said a spokesperson for Firebox.co.uk which charges £3.95 per parcel.

Who's the Worst Gift-giver?
Grandmothers, mothers and aunties are responsible for buying the worst Christmas gifts according to research revealed today.
A study of 2,000 people found that most named a female relative as the person who consistently buys them lousy presents.
Aunts came out as worst overall with them frequently buying their nephews and nieces cheap copies of designer perfumes, socks and even kitchen utensils.
But most of us are too polite to say anything when given unwanted Christmas gifts and only 33% would consider taking if back to the shop after the holiday.
Of male relatives, brothers buy the worst gifts with more than one in ten purchasing unsuitable gifts!

Speaking of which...

Totally Useless Presents #2765
How to have a red hot Christmas...
Japanese manufacturer Thanko has created the USB Bust Beauty Pad for those who suffer from chilly chests, and it can be yours for a mere US$20. Plug the device into the USB port of your computer, stick the pad in your bra, and your bosom will be toasty in no time.
Well that's one way of telling someone, "Your bosom is hot!"

The Gold Health Guide - How to Have a Stress-free Holiday Season
Tip #4: Take a Time Out.
Children mimic parents in terms of stress levels. If you're frantic and complaining, they're going to feel that. Take control by carving out an afternoon or morning each weekend for family-only relaxation time. If you're at an all-day event, join the kids for part of their nap or sneak into a quiet room to read a book together. It gives you one-on-one time with the children, which often disappears during the holidays. Give yourself a breather, too. Just 15 minutes of solitude is enough to refresh you, according to the Mayo Clinic.

Hamish's 5 Things
5 Christmas Carols that change because the folks have had too much too drink
1. Deck the halls with Buddy Holly.
2. We three kings of porridge and tar.
3. He's making a list, chicken and rice.
4. Noel, Noel, Barney's the King of Israel.
5. You'll go down in Listerine.

Santas, Sausages and Statistics

Suicide by Sausage?!

Chinese police were held in a hour-long stand-off with a suspected suicide bomber, believing that the straps and bulky items around Sing He's waist were dynamite and detonators.
Mr He had threatened to blow up a restaurant and its customers in Benxi, northern China, unless the staff handed over the contents of the cash register.
The specialist bomb unit called to the scene quickly determined that the device was assembled with pork products - the man was armed with only with sausages!
Maybe that's why sausages are often refereed to as Bangers!

Today's Show is Made Possible by the NUMBER TWENTY-THREE

23 - Red-haired people are twice as likely to be married by age 23 than their blonde-haired counterparts.

23 - One of the most popular films in history, "Gone With The Wind" has been dubbed in 23 different languages, and subtitled in over 80.

23 - Donald Brosofsky of Chelmsford, England has read a Harry Potter book in 23 different languages.

23 - Authors whose names start with an A have their books checked out 23% more often at public libraries.

23 - In the average work force, approximately 23% of 'sick days' are taken by healthy people.

23 - Sneaky-sneaky! A new study has found that 23% would sneak-a-peak at their Christmas gifts online, rather than hunting for them through the house and squeezing wrapped presents. Nowadays they just load up the internet browser and look in the history folder to see what sites and products have been viewed or purchased.
A further 15% of people said they'd accidentally stumbled on what they had been bought by visiting a shopping website on a shared computer.

23 - One out of 50 people still believes in Santa Claus at the age of 23.

Santa Stats
Santa sure is a hard worker! Even after his year's work of deciding who has been naughty and nice is done, he must get the presents and deliver them. A reporter from the Telegraph takes a practical look at what goes into his biggest night of the year:
Children visited
There are roughly 2 billion children worldwide, of which an impressive 700,000,000 children who believe in Santa will be visited in a single night. Assuming three children per household, that's 233,000,000 stops for Santa and his sleigh.
Distance travelled
Santa will have to travel a total of 342,510,000km given that the planet's surface area is 510,000,000km and the number of children involved (each stop between households will be around 1.47km apart).
Speed of sleigh
If he's clever about it, and travels from east to west with the Sun, maximising his available night-time, Santa has about 32 hours to work with. Travelling 342,510,000km in 32 hours equates to a speed of 10,703,437.5km/hr, or a little under 1,800 miles per second, assuming he takes no time actually to deliver the presents or stop for any comfort breaks.
By comparison, the fastest-moving man-made object in history, the space probe Voyager 1, travels at 10.8 miles per second.
Weight of gifts carried
Assuming each child gets the Transformer Optimus Prime, the leader of the Autobots, for a present, in his box, Santa will be carting 659g per child. That's 461,300 metric tonnes! Putting things in perspective, a Boeing 747-8I airliner can carry 237.5 tonnes in passengers, luggage and fuel.
Number of calories consumed
Assuming Santa consumed one mince pie (250kcal) and one 50ml glass of sherry per household (58kcal) at each stop, we have 71,764,000,000 calories total! The recommended daily allowance for an adult male is 2,550kcal. Santa will therefore eat 28,142,745.1 times his daily dues. If Santa is a 300lb man, he will have to walk more than 450 million miles at three miles an hour to burn off his night's excesses.
Amount of alcohol consumed
The aforementioned 50ml glass of sherry works out at around one unit of alcohol, according to the UK definition. So Santa would be expected to knock back 233,000,000 units over the course of the evening. The legal blood alcohol limit is 80mg per 100mls of blood and the daily recommended maximum for a man is four units, meaning that Santa is endangering his health by drinking 58,250,000 times the DoH limits and he'd be at least 50 million times over the legal driving limit as well!

Top 7 Gifts for Christmas
7. Cash
6. Food and liquor
5. Books
4. CDs and DVDs
3. Toys and electronics
2. Clothing
1. Gift cards
Not surprisingly, a new study says that for the 5th year in a row, gift cards are the most popular holiday present in 2009. People usually buy a gift with a gift card; most who are given cash use that to pay bills. 70% of shoppers buy gift cards because they didn't know what else to purchase. Of those buying gift cards, half are doing it to avoid the item being returned, exchanged, regifted or rejected! Half buy gift cards because it takes less time than actually selecting a present.
Interestingly, "Breakage" is the industry term for people who own a gift card but never use them. These people who don't use gift cards are essentially donating money to retailers.
50% of all gift cards are used in the first month. But ater 30 days, the potential for "breakage" gets higher and higher.
18% of people have at least one gift card more than two years old.

Hamish's 5 Things

5 THINGS To Say About The "Special" Christmas Gift

5. Well, well, well...

4. This is perfect for wearing around the basement.

3. If the dog buries it, I'll be furious!

2. I love it -- but I fear the jealousy it will inspire.

1. To think -- I got this the year I vowed to give all my gifts to charity.

The Gold Health Guide
Tips for a stress-free Christmas
3. Get Outside and Play. Getting active boosts your energy and your mood — so don't slow down just because the holiday routine is a little different. For stress-relief that doesn't cost a bundle, head outdoors to a park or the beach for some activity with the kids.

Green-Eyed Monsters

Today’s Show is made possible by the NUMBER TWENTY-TWO!

22 - On average, green-eyed people earn 22% more money than their blue-eyed peers.

22 - The Space Shuttle Discovery contains exactly 22 million screws. A special plaque with 852 screws was placed on board to reach this precise number.
Incidentally, today in 1999, two astronauts from the U.S. space shuttle Discovery started three days of spacewalks to repair the crippled Hubble Space Telescope so it could focus correctly on stars, galaxies and other celestial objects.

22 - "22" is worn by Manchester United player, John O'Shea, the only player in club history to have played all 11 positions.

@#$%^&* Drivers
Dealing with all that holiday driving in and out of the malls can be a severe exercise in patience, especially when faced with rude, bad drivers. Son't get mad, get even by getting it out of your system - the non-violent way! A Washington-D-C-based website lets you post the plate number of rude, aggressive or clueless drivers. http://www.platewire.com/ has received hundreds of messages from drivers venting over "idiots" on the road with titles like "maniac" and "jerk on the phone. Reading these posts are almost as cathartic as venting yourself.
{via SMS}Hi you can also report traffic offenders to OC Violations, Traffic Police. If the offender agrees to pay fine, end of story. If he/she disputes, then it's a court appearance for both. My 3 experiences? Offender quietly paid the fine. Very satisfying haaa. Cos offence was most grievous. Joachim

She Sells Seasounds...
A new survey shows that 70% of people are relaxed by the sound of the ocean - that's why the cell phone company Orange has launched a new service called Dial-a-Beach.
According to studies conducted by behavioural therapists, soothing, calming sounds can help melt away stress and heighten overall well-being. Richard Schoch, professor of the history of culture at the University of London and author of The Secrets of Happiness, said: "Recent studies show that listening to recorded sounds of the ocean for just 12 minutes can lower both the pulse and blood pressure. We know certain sounds make us feel calmer because they slow down the body's stress response: listening to the sounds on the Orange Relaxation Line can help inject a bit of calm into a frenzied lifestyle."
Reps from the company travelled all over Britain, recording only the best sounding waves. Orange also offers phone lines with forest sounds, crackling fire, birdsongs, and the noise of an English village.

True Sign of Christmas
Chestnuts roasting on an open fire? Songs filling the air? Decorations up in Orchard Road? No, the true sign that Christmas has arrived is luxury loo paper stocked in the bathroom!
According to supermarkets, sales of premium toilet paper increase substantially in December as families try to impress their in-laws, parents and other guests they will welcome into their home this Christmas.
Sales of good quality coffee and flavoured teas like Earl Grey also jumped, as consumers hide the jar of instant coffee and generic box of black tea to try and impress their guests with their refined taste.
The distinct trend in shoppers trading-up at this time of year is the real indication that Christmas is well and truly here!
It's what we call SAS - Sikit Atas Syndrome!

Hamish's 5 Things

5 THINGS - Things I HOPE I DON'T GET for Christmas

#1. Novelty Boxer Shorts - THOSE GLOW IN THE DARK ONES REALLY DO NOT TURN WOMEN ON, TRUST ME.
#2. Whatever “For Dummies” book pertains to the career I’m actively pursuing - TRUE FRIENDS NEVER CALL THEIR OTHER FRIENDS MORONS
#3. The DVD first season of some short-lived, completely forgettable show - IF THE NETWORK THOUGHT IT WAS BAD, WOULD I WANT TO SEE IT?
#4. The gift from the out of touch relative who thinks I’m 2 decades younger than I actually am - BEWARE THE STORIES FROM YOUR CHILDHOOD WILL EMERGE AND YOU HAVE NOWHERE TO HIDE.
#5. The Obvious Last-Minute Gift - WELL OF COURSE I NEED A FRAME FOR MY PICTURE SO THAT I CAN ADMIRE MYSELF!!!!

The Gold Health Guide
Managing the Stress of the Season
2. Let Someone Else Play Santa.
When you find yourself baking or wrapping presents way past midnight, it's time to lower your expectations and start delegating. Send your partner out with a shopping list and get the kids to wrap gifts and create one-of-a-kind (and cheap!) cards and labels. This is an opportunity to make children feel proud of themselves. We take that away when we want everything to be picture perfect. It's so much more exciting for them hand over a present they wrapped or made themselves.

The Countdown to Christmas Begins!

Video of the Day: The Muppets' 12 Days of Christmas


Parents secretly play with their children's toys
The average parent spends more than a month of their life playing with their children's toys by themselves, it has been found.
Researchers claim mums and dads mess around with toys such as dolls, cars and action figures for at least 22 minutes per day - when not playing with their child.
This means they fiddle with games, bricks and dolls for two hours and 34 minutes every week, which equates to nearly five days a year.
That means that while the child is between the ages of four and 11, the average parent will play alone for one month and 10 days.
One in five parents also admitted picking up toys and games to amuse themselves at least twice a day - with half preferring Lego, followed by games and puzzles (47%) and painting (25%).
The study of 2,000 parents by the Early Learning Centre also found a quarter of parents admitted that their boredom, rather than their child's, has triggered new purchases.
Which goes to show truly, we're all big kids at heart!
Yeah, men may grow old, but they never grow up!

Law firm offers divorce vouchers for Christmas
A London law firm has come up with a 'must have' Christmas present for unhappy couples - divorce gift vouchers. Lloyd Platt & Co claims to have had hundreds of enquiries since putting the vouchers up for sale. These vouchers offercouples half-hour or hour-long advice sessions with a lawyer and cost from £125.
The firm says it has already sold 54 in three weeks and purchasers had included husbands, wives, mistresses, and people using them to suggest to friends and family members that they should get a divorce.
However, the scheme has been criticised for encouraging couples to split rather than resolve their differences. Dave Percival, who organises the annual National Marriage Week, said: "It's typical ambulance chasing by lawyers who are doing this for business reasons. Anyone looking to buy this would be much better off paying for couples to get counselling."

Naked Cycling Anyone?
Bicyclists angered by the removal of a cycling lane in Brooklyn are planning a nude protest on Saturday.
The biggest challenge for the topless riders, however, might not be the law - it's legal to go topless in New York in public - but the weather: forecasters are predicting as much as 10 inches of snow and brisk winds. No wonder this freedom ride protest is already being dubbed "The polar Dare"!

Today’s Show is made possible by the NUMBER TWENTY-ONE!

21 - The thumb of an average person today is 21 percent longer than the thumb of an average person born 250 years ago.

21 - The average person overestimates their IQ by 21 points.

21 - The heaviest ship anchor ever produced was completed in 1954. It weighed 21 tons, and was as tall as a two story building.

The Gold Health Guide
Tips for a stress-free Christmas
1. Listen To Your Joy Meter.
Think about your annual holiday events and divide them into two camps: those that make you happy, and those that absolutely can't be avoided. Then say no to any events that don't fall into either category. Keep your explanation brief, and don't lie because lying sets off feelings of guilt, according to a social psychologist at Rutgers University in News Brunswick, USA. Simply say, "We're trying to keep our holidays low key this year". And be sure to place a cap on the family events you have to attend or organise per year. This allows you to spend more time with other people you love, like your close friends.

Hamish's 5 Things

5 FUNNY CHRISTMAS LETTERS TO SANTA

5. Dear Santa, Please bring my mommy a diamond ring, because I don't have enough money to buy one. - Gavin, 7, Modesto, California

4. Dear Santa, I hope you know I'm going to grease the chimney for you! - Barrett, 8, Cochrane, Alberta

3. I heard that Mrs. Claus looks like Pamela Anderson. Are these rumours true? - John, 17, Sulphur Rock, United States

2. I could sure use some ideas about what to get my wife. Has she sent you a list of suggestions? - Dale, 43, Carrollton, Texas

1. What I'd really like is for my husband's ex-wife to be banished to the North Pole with no telephone in sight, but I know miracles are out of your jurisdiction. - Cierra, 42, Allons, Tennessee

THUNDER IN MY PANTS

Video of the Day - Merry, Furry Christmas!


Macho Men as Air Stewardesses?!

New F1 boss Sir Richard Branson could soon be donning an air stewardess uniform and serving coffee on a rival airline, after placing a odd Formula One bet. Branson has made a wager with rival F1 boss Tony Fernandes that his Virgin Racing team will do better than Lotus F1 next season.If they do Tony will have to work for a day as a stewardess with Virgin Atlantic Airways - complete with unflattering uniform. But if Lotus F1 do better Branson will do the same on AirAsia, as imagined in the picture above!
Either way we reckon the biggest losers won't be either of the F1 Bosses. It'll be the poor passengers who get served by the cross-dressing stewardess!

No Rest at Christmas
77% of smartphone owners won’t get a proper break from work this Christmas and many will even check their work emails on Christmas day.
A new study found that the vast majority of workers will check their mobile over the festive season, with two thirds doing it on a daily basis.
45% said they will keep their work phone on them at all times - in case something important crops up - and 26% said checking emails is a habit they are unable to break.
All of this is despite the fact that 49% expect their Christmas smartphone use to prompt a fight with family members - presumably via email or text!

Office Clichés

A new survey has found that six in 10 employees hate it when their boss keeps using clichés, while it also found that one in three bosses have pulled an employee to one side and asked them not use them in meetings with clients.
Why? The argument is that whenever someone utters a cliched phrase, many people cringe, and this can mean they no longer listen to the rest of the conversation properly. However, clichés can be a great way of getting a point across and help people really understand what you mean.

Top Office Clichés:
1. 'At the end of the day' (uttered at least three times-a-day in every workplace)
2. 'What goes around, comes around'
3. 'Thinking outside the box'
4. 'Flogging a dead horse'
5. 'Don't shoot the messenger'
6. 'Give you the heads up'
7. 'Live and learn'
8. 'C'est la vie'

Hamish's 5 Things

5 FUNNY CHRISTMAS LIMERICKS TO START THE WEEKEND RIGHT

5. Prancer was over the moon
The toy run would be over soon
That Vixen, the sinner,
Ate baked beans for dinner
And the others were starting to swoon.

4. When Rudolph got hurt in a fight
he couldn't lead Santa that night
too much Christmas cheer
and eggnog, and beer,
his red nose was shiny, all right!

3. An elf said to Santa: "Oh Dear,
we've not enough presents this year."
that made St. Nick think
Now he'd given up drink
he could give all the children some beer!

2.The sleigh had broke down in the wet
And Santa was starting to fret
Then Rudolph said, "Man,
I've a neat, cunning plan,
Involving a hot jumbo jet!"

1. Santa said. "Look, in the snow
A traveling bordello show
Nice little lookers
I counted three hookers
Which leads me to say: Ho Ho Ho!"

Today’s Show is made possible by the NUMBER EIGHTEEN!

18 - Flossy Facts!
Average amount of dental floss bought per person in a year: 18 yards.
Amount that dentists say should be bought per person: 122 yards (figuring one foot a day)
Percent who say they floss daily: 28% (some are fibbing, according to the sales data above)
Year commercial floss was first manufactured: 1882
Material it was first made of: silk
Newest material: Gore-tex
In 1994 a prison inmate in West Virginia braided floss into a rope, scaled the wall and escaped.

18 - The world's largest Gummy Bear has gone on sale for a whopping £18! Measuring 9.5 inches tall, weighing a monstrous 2.3kg and containing FIVE TIMES your recommended calorie intake, each sweet is the equivalent of 1,400 regular sized gummy bears and packs a diet busting 12,600 calories. Makers say each bite has the same taste as the more familiar pint-sized Gummy Bears and comes in three different colours, red, green and blue. Eating one of these giantys will take the same amount of chewing as about 450 normal sweets!

18 - Inflight catering is an US$18 billion worldwide industry employing up to 200,000 people.
Case in point, Virgin Atlantic says catering is its third biggest cost after fuel and engineering-maintenance!

18 - Less than 18% of people under the age of 25 have sent or received a fax.

Hamish and Denise in Leotards?!

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If you can't see the video above, you can see it here!

Silent Night in Snores

SNORECHESTRA!
The sounds of some of the UKs worst snorers has been put together to make one of the funniest Christmas songs of the year.
Musicians got snorers from around the UK to record the sounds of their night time rumbling and submit them for use in the 'song'.
They then edited the sounds together in the studio - LISTEN TO IT HERE!
A spokesperson for Helps Stop Snoring, said that snore-chestra is a fun way to communicate a serious message, with snoring affecting millions across the world.
Ironic way to reinterpret Silent Night!
Your Responses via SMS:

Very unique indeed, i had to stop just to take a listen in the middle of my tooth brushing session. I am sure it will make a great ring tone. Reminds me of me when i sleep. Lol.

OH no!it sounds awful im imaging e saliva drooping eee...it makes hair stands n turn me off cmon switch to e traditional its stil e favorite - princess hannah

Hilarious but download(cyclop)mamma mia! I don't so,sorry :D luv Peggy

Plse play it with the rest of Xmas songs it's great. John

Kids Prefer Presents to Parents?
40% of children would rather receive expensive Christmas presents than spend time with Mum and Dad!
A study has revealed that 13 million British children would prefer to receive a new games console, puppy or bike than undivided attention from their parents.
More than half of those polled said the very best thing about Christmas is seeing what presents are under the tree when they wake up.
However, 45% of kids admitted that having both mum and dad with them all day also makes Christmas special.
And 91% love the fact their parents don't have to work at Christmas, meaning they get their attention all day if they want it.

TOP 10 TOYS KIDS WANT MOST
1. Games consoles
2. Computer games
3. Computer
4. CD player
5. Bike
6. Puppy
7. Television
8. Trampoline
9. Lego
10. Scalextric

Red Light = Better-tasting Wine
People think the same wine tastes better if they are drinking it in a room with red or blue ambient lighting, scientists have found.
German psychologists got 500 people to taste Riesling wines in a variety of lighting conditions.
They asked the drinkers to rate the wine and say how much they would pay for a bottle.It was found that the same wine tasted better when exposed to red or blue ambient light rather than green or white light and drinkers said they were consistently willing to pay more for it.
The survey showed, among other things, that the test wine was perceived as being nearly 1.5 times sweeter in red light than in white or green light. Its fruitiness was also most highly rated in red light.
The team from the Institute of Psychology at Johannes Gutenberg University Mainz, Germany added that the extreme lighting conditions found in some bars can undoubtedly influence the way a wine tastes.
And no doubt now with the release of this info, our local bars are all going to be awash with red and blue lights!

Hamish's 5 Things

Talks still on in SingTel-StarHub bid to air 2010 FIFA World Cup
SINGAPORE: SingTel and StarHub, which recently submitted a joint offer for the rights to air the 2010 FIFA World Cup in Singapore, have baulked at FIFA's asking price for the rights.
Though negotiations with FIFA are still ongoing, the two telcos have released a joint statement saying the cost of airing the World Cup in Singapore has "escalated substantially".
Due to FIFA's confidentiality provisions, the telcos said they are unable to disclose any other details.
But they said that "in an attempt to reach a value that is acceptable to FIFA to bring World Cup to Singapore, the price offered to FIFA would sacrifice all World Cup margins for both SingTel and StarHub while keeping the price affordable for consumers."
Still, the telcos said, they will continue to negotiate with FIFA in an attempt to reach an agreement.

5 POSSIBLE REASONS WHY ITS BECOME DIFFICULT TO BRING THE WORLD CUP BROADCASTING RIGHTS TO SINGAPORE

5. OUR INABILITY TO UNDERSTAND THE LINGO OF JUNGLE DRUMS

4. OUR CONCEPT OF BUSINESS ENTERTAINMENT USING KAROAKE BARS AND HOSTESSESS MAY NOT GO DOWN WELL WITH PEOPLE OF THE BUSH

3. OUR SINGLISH CONVERSATION VERSUS THEIR LANGUAGE USE OF CLICKINGS IS LIKE A DUCK AND CHICKEN DIALOGUE FOR REAL

2. JUST HOW MANY BUFFALOES AND COWS AND DAUGHTERS IS LEGAL TENDER FOR S$100,000,00 MILLION DOLLARS ANYWAY

1. PERHAPS OUR AUTHORITIES ARE JUST TOO WARY THAT THIS COULD BE ANOTHER NIGERIAN SCHEME.

Today’s Show is made possible by the NUMBER SEVENTEEN!

17 - 17% of Americans under the age of 20 have never ridden a bicycle.

17 - On average, each US president has been married 17 years, four months, three days at the time of his first inauguration.

17 - 17% of PC users keep their speakers permanently on mute.

17 - The record for the most eggs held in the hand is seventeen and was achieved by Rob Beaton (USA) in Ocean Gate, New Jersey on 10 January 2007.

Shoes, Penalty Shootouts and Pygmy Pets!

Handbag hedgehogs - the new pet craze

A bizarre craze is said to be sweeping the UK where women are buying pet pygmy hedgehogs to keep in their handbags - like prickly designer dogs.The tiny African pygmy hedgehogs which sell for £250 each, grow to just five inches long and are said to have placid temperaments making them good pets. Experts say pygmy hedgehogs, which will eat cat food, love being handled and will sit quite happily in a handbag while their owner goes shopping.
This just sounds cruel and like a designer doo doo accident waiting to happen!

Why some footballers are bad at penalties
Scientists claim they have worked out why some footballers are better at taking penalties - it's all about anxiety and eye position. Researchers say that footballers like Frank Lampard and Peter Crouch naturally feel anxious when taking part in a penalty shootout, and that this controls their behaviour. Anxiety causes a player's eye gaze to focus on the centrally positioned goalkeeper - which in turn impacts they motor control and kick.The team from the University of Exeter say that this means a shot is more likely to end up at the centre of the goal, making it more easier for the goalkeeper to save.
Wonder if this theory can be applied to scoring with women?

Shoes More Important to Women Than First Kiss?
According to a new survey, women are more likely to remember their first pair of shoes than an old boyfriend.
Whether they are a pair of Manolo Blahnik’s, Jimmy Choos, or just an ordinary pair of Charles & Keith's, more than 92% of women could remember the first shoes they bought with their own money.
However, less than 2 in 3 recalled the name of the person they first kissed, the survey found.
An overwhelming 96% of women said they regretted having thrown away a pair of shoes, while only 15% felt sorry at dumping a boyfriend.
These results show that women are even more attached to their footwear than previously thought. People always think of women storing old love letters in a shoebox, but in many cases, the shoes themselves are even more precious! Women treat shoes like best friends. And it seems their footwear memories last longer than those of their past lovers.
Shoes rule over relationships! Obviously men can come and go, but with shoes, it's true and everlasting love!
{via SMS} hey Hamish I'm w u. I will only buy when need to. Sorry Denise I know I'm the rare breed of weird women n even worse I hate shopping. Sorry but that's only me. At The gym now n enjoy Goldfm on my threadmil. Hv a nice day, luv Peggy;)

Hamish's 5 Things

AS ANOTHER CHRISTMAS ROLLS BY - HERE ARE 5 MORE PROOF POSITIVES THAT WE ARE ALL GETTING OLDER...

5. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.

4. Your back goes out more than you do.

3. Your ears are hairier than your head.

2. You can live without sex but not without glasses.

1. You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.

Today’s Show is made possible by the NUMBER SIXTEEN!

16 - In California, there are a larger percentage of 16-year-olds with tattoos than 30-year-olds with tattoos.

16 - For every soak in a bathtub, the average person will shower 16 times more.

16 - 16% of Americans cannot remove at least one ring from a finger due to weight gain.

16 - A species of worm found in South America can grow to be 16 feet long and weigh over 15 pounds.

16 - Of every 400 people currently living at any given time: 16 will lose one or more toes; five will lose one or more fingers; two will lose an arm or leg; and one will be decapitated.